Today I am actually 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant with mister Andrew Tate. That is the “most pregnant” I have ever been (I was induced with Max at 38 weeks 6 days, and he was born at 39 weeks). So many feelings and emotions today. So many.
This is about to get real, y’all.
Most of me is sick of being pregnant and wants him out and into my arms this second. I’m tired. And I’m completely over the swollen feet, no sleep, pee every 30 minutes world that is being this pregnant. I want all my shoes to fit again, please. 3 pairs is just not cutting it (especially when those pairs are Crocs, Keens, and Toms. Toms are pretty much the only pair that get to go out of the house on my feet).
All of me is feeling so beyond happy/excited/ecstatic and every other positive emotion you can come up with. I can’t wait to hold this boy in my arms, love on him, nurse him, sing to him, and learn all about what he has to offer this world. I can’t wait to watch Nick become a Daddy again. I can’t wait to watch Max become the best big brother there is, even if that may take some time, and even if it is difficult at first. I can’t wait to really feel like I am stepping into my role as a mother…for the second time around.
Then comes the hard stuff. I feel sad. I didn’t expect to feel sad. I’m sad that Max won’t be the littlest baby anymore. I am bound and determined to snuggle him up on a daily basis and make sure he isn’t missing out on any love, but it still makes me sad. I feel like I’m going to miss him. All day every day, it’s us two, and now that’s all going to change. I’m sad to be spending the night away from him. He’s going to be staying with my parents (Mimi and Pop to him) while we are in the hospital, and he’s never stay the night with anyone but Nick and I before. I can’t think of better people for him to stay with and i know he will be fine, but I am so sad to be away from him overnight.
I’m scared. We really have no idea what we are getting ourselves into. Once again, I know it will be fine, and probably even wonderful, BUT it’s going to be different and scary, too. I’m so glad we will be living close to family soon and that I have a fantastic husband who will keep me calm if/when everything seems to be falling apart.
Seriously, though…who knew so many emotions would come around this time? I didn’t even hardly scratch the surface. I don’t really remember feeling this way when Max was born.
When I went to the doctor today, we made the decision that I will be induced within the next week, unless Drew decides to come sooner on his own! They will be calling me tomorrow to schedule it!
We prayed for this baby. And he’s going to be here so soon! I am stepping into this new adventure with faith and knowing that God is going to help us be the best parents to our boys. We are so very blessed.
**if you made it to the end of this post and actually read the whole thing, you deserve a medal! Sorry for being long-winded, but I am so happy that I actually got all those thoughts out of my head and onto “paper” 🙂