craving change.

166-4

I have sort of a strange way about me when it comes to change.

There are some things that I like to remain the same, all the time.  I love it when relationships last. I started dating my now husband when I was (almost) fifteen.  Two of my best friends right now were also my best friends when I was 6 years old, and I invest a lot in relationships that I know will last.  I cannot stand it when my hubs shaves his beard. I do not want my boys to grow up. I’d rather they just stay little.  I have liked the color blue for as long as I can remember, and I still have the bear I got for my first birthday because I would be devastated if it was no longer. We moved back to our hometown because I completely hated the change living in a different town involved. I love our quiet, simple every day.

But then sometimes, I find myself itching for change, trying to find a way to do something. anything. different.  The common and mundane become too much, or too little. It makes my mind race and sleep dwindle until I can find a way to make it happen somewhere in my life.  I usually dye my hair (or chop it off), find a DIY project around the house, or reorganize a closet. And I love it. I relish the difference and the newness.

Apparently this was the week…it was bound to happen.  It has been a few months since I cut several inches off my hair.

We took the doors off one set of our kitchen cabinets.167-2

It was freeing for me. I love being able to see all my dishes, and it seems so much more open and inviting. That may seem silly, but it makes me just want to sit down with a friend and a pot of French press.

266-3

We love our kitchen. It’s open and airy because of the high ceilings and huge windows, even if it is technically a “galley” kitchen. All the cabinets are original, and therefore wonderfully quirky.  People flock to that part of the house when they are here, and we spend most of our time in there,too…around the table talking, playing, drinking coffee. Baking press cookies, trying my best to learn to cook some delicious meals for our little family. One of my goals this year is to have an open door to all our friends and family. I want people to just be able to stop by. Right along with that, I want to nourish the relationships in my life- my husband, my boys, my family, my friends. So we are working to make our home a more inviting place. And in our home, it starts in the kitchen.

209-3

 

Advertisements

3/52

ImageImage

 

“A portrait of my children. Once a week. Every week. In 2014.”

Drew: loves being as naked as possible. And with those rolls? I am totally cool with that.

Max: loves Daddy. And giggling. 

PS…I have to give credit to my insanely talented sister (in-law) for processing these. You HAVE to go check out her beautiful new website and photos, (and the logo my brother created for her!), okay??

I want to remember.

These sweet, sweet days. Some days they seem long and exhausting. I feel like I’m counting down the seconds until everyone is asleep and I have a few minutes of peace and time to myself. I focus more on being tired and needing quiet. I blame it on “the January slump” and just try to get through it. It is so easy to get into that routine as a full time stay at home momma, or so I have found. This? It’s happened before. I probably even blogged about it. And I’ve said it before and I will say it again, but these boys, they show me so much grace, and His cup overflows with it, thank goodness, but…

Then this thing happens. I realize the days are actually going by too quickly. My boys are growing and changing and learning and needing me less and less. It sounds so cliché…”they are growing up too fast.” But my gosh, it’s so true. And I’m afraid that I won’t slow down and sometimes even just. stop. To take in everything about these days with two huge pieces of my heart. To listen to them. To play and laugh, and just love on them.

And I want to remember, how these days were so so good. How Drew’s knuckles have these sweet little dimples and how it feels to hold him, warm against me, while he sleeps. How Drew grins and reaches for me, then snuggles into the corner of my neck and shoulder as hard as he can once he’s in my arms. I want to remember Max’s giggle and how he scrunches his chin down into his chest when you tickle him. How he says certain words like “snuckle” instead of snuggle and how he calls Drew his buddy.

I want them to remember how we played peekaboo and read books in the tent in their room. How we baked cookies every week, and how it felt to pile on my lap and have me hold them close.

AllynEdit1-2

AllynEdit3-4

I don’t want to miss any of it.

And mommas? We can be so glad! Because even when those days seem long and it feels like we will never hear the sound of husband’s keys in the door, He gives us strength. He IS our strength. So that we can stop focusing on just making it through the day and rushing through the next task and start thriving, instead. To love the every day and be all in. To live these days with joy and purpose, to stop counting down the minutes and instead forget about them a little. And just take time. To remember.

AllynEdit2-4

“‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

2/52

074

093

“A portrait of my children. Once a week. Every week. In 2014.”

Max: always talking, especially to his brother.

Drew: loves his brother, but does not understand why Max insists on snuggling with him first thing in the morning.

bloglovin’

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Are you guys on bloglovin’? I am, and I love it! There are several blogs that I enjoy reading, and I used to keep up with them on my phone by just adding them to my bookmarks on Safari. Then I discovered bloglovin’ and everything is so much better over there.

Well, if you use bloglovin’ just click on that link at the top up there and follow me!

Also…it’s pretty likely I will be changing the title of the blog again pretty soon (yes, again). The web address will stay the same, but I am just not happy with the title. Just a warning;)

1/52

Have you heard of “the 52 Project?” It’s kind of a thing in the blogging world. It started over here, but it has grown like crazy! Several of my favorite blogs to read participated last year, and I can’t wait to join in this year!

Jodi, of “Practising Simplicity”, wrote a little about this project and why/how it came to be. I will let her words speak for themselves:
“There’s a common saying amongst mothers, first coined by writer Gretchen Rubin in her book The Happiness Project: “The days are long, but the years are short.” Indeed, our days of mothering babies and young children can be tiring and messy; a cycle of washing, settling, cleaning and playing. Sometimes they’re monotonous and seemingly endless. But then, without so much as a blink, the sleepless nights and mornings at the park are over, and we’re sending our children off to school, hesitantly cutting the metaphorical cord once again.

I regarded 2012 as The Year Before My First-born Went to School. We were holidaying in the country when the New Year rang in, living in an old school house with heavy doors, panelled windows and musical floorboards. On New Years Day, Che, my four-year-old, scraped his toe whilst running barefoot outside. He came into the house, perched himself on a chair, and asked for a band-aid. He was adamant that he was going to fix it all by himself so I stood back, stayed silent, and took a photo. It became the first of 52 portraits – one for every week in 2012.

I set about taking my children’s portraits as a way of documenting their fleeting childhood. I wanted tangible evidence of their growth and expansion; an honest account of their young, innocent lives. I took photos of Che sitting hesitantly on the side of the pool, hiding from the camera; his shadow an eerie replica, the twiddling of his toes – a family trait. Poet was all round and soft in her first photo and as the year progressed I watched her limbs grow longer, her face more defined, her independence evolve. There are photos of her inquisitive eyes, her cheeky demeanor, and her top-knot; an unportrait of sorts that I’d probably nominate as my favourite.

As 2012 came to a close I had 104 portraits – a story of Che and Poet’s year. Imbued in each image is my story too; a tale of motherhood with all its exhaustion, frustration, joy and palpable, immeasurable love. It’s a documentation of ordinary days that I wanted to remember because they were beautiful – an odd collection of singular moments that would have otherwise gone unnoticed amidst the general busyness of life. Even when the days were too long to enjoy I can see, in retrospect, that they were a blessing.

Beyond the story of this portrait collection lies a strange reality; I look through it and experience a profound sense of nostalgia for my children’s younger selves. I already miss them! I miss them with a longing that only a mother’s heart knows; it’s deep and raw and acts as a beautiful reminder: to stop, observe and document.”

One of my goals for 2014 is to take more photos and learn a whole lot more about photography. It’s a great creative outlet for me and I love it so much! I’m hoping this project will help me to achieve that goal 🙂 My plan is to post mostly candid photos, and really capture my boys the way they truly are. Real life. I’m not sure it’s quite like that this week, but, I still love this weeks photos. I hope you will join me in this project! So excited to get started.

20140106-232629.jpg

20140106-232636.jpg
“A portrait of my children. Once a week. Every week. In 2014.”
Max: completely infatuated with trains
Drew: completely infatuated with food